DNA of strangers

I hugged a stranger today.

I would say she was a complete and total stranger, as the saying goes, but she wasn't truly.  I would not have hugged her if she was.

We were dropping children off at the same city of Ottawa program.  I had chatted with her briefly about a month ago, under the exact circumstance.  

I am not good at "forced" small talk.  Quite horrible at it in fact.  Chatter while dropping kids off in a completely relaxed environment with someone I could "read" as open for a friendly overture, and possibly in need of one, is not so difficult.  It surprises me, but pleasantly.

Today I met her again.   She was running a bit late and seemed a bit flustered.  

"Hello, how are you?"

"Oh fine, thanks.  I forgot all about the program today.  I remembered 20 minutes ago..."

More talk.  I tell her that I live further away, it is good she is close then.  We both commiserate over the fact that our daughter's hair is unbrushed.  We laugh.

"Actually, my dad died yesterday."  She states, "I am feeling at bit disorganized."  In stoic Asian fashion she is dry eyed and factual about this.  

"I understand.  You can be a mess inside and somehow manage to function."  I state.  "My dad died a number of years ago and I had to keep it together.  I am sorry for your loss.  I remember that feeling of just wanting to keep it all in with the desire to shout, "Hey, my dad just died, cut me some slack."  You will not believe me now.  It will get better."

She looks at me and talks about her family.  He died in India.  "So far away.  he was in the hospital, he just had trouble breathing." She stops talking suddenly.

"Would you like a hug?  I hope it isn't inappropriate that I asked, but I would be pleased to give you one if you need it."

She hugs me; she sobs a bit on my shoulder.  I let go when she does.  

"I am going to my friend's this afternoon.  My husband had to go to work.  He told me he would come home but I don't want to bother him."

"Call him if you need him.  If you need the time to yourself he will understand.  If you call him he will understand, too."

"Yes."

I can tell this is over, she would like to go.

"Would you like to sit for a while, or do you need to get going?"

"Oh, I will go get some things done..."

So, you see she was a stranger, by definition.  Empathy and life made her someone I know.  If only in that moment, we knew each other well.  The world is so big, and so small.  We can trace DNA back in Asia to two groups of people, we can see the strands that connect us, the basic building blocks that tie us to each other are undeniable, no matter what else separates us.  

I hugged a stranger today - but somewhere in that brief interlude between closing and opening of arms had five sisters instead of four.

If your world felt smaller today somewhere around 10:30, I know why.